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About Other / Student Daishaun BarnesMale/United States Recent Activity
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Fan Made Elephant in Dragon Ball by Barnes-Daishaun15 Fan Made Elephant in Dragon Ball :iconbarnes-daishaun15:Barnes-Daishaun15 0 0 My Dragon Ball OC - Roy by Barnes-Daishaun15 My Dragon Ball OC - Roy :iconbarnes-daishaun15:Barnes-Daishaun15 2 3

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Vegetto - Background by NekoAR Vegetto - Background :iconnekoar:NekoAR 140 14 Black Goku Super Saiyan Rose by NekoAR Black Goku Super Saiyan Rose :iconnekoar:NekoAR 42 0 Crisis and me by megax88 Crisis and me :iconmegax88:megax88 272 24 how to paint a tree digtally by mano-k how to paint a tree digtally :iconmano-k:mano-k 2,627 0 SAI Tutorial by algenpfleger SAI Tutorial :iconalgenpfleger:algenpfleger 5,506 408 Dragon Ball Super - Black Goku by Bejitsu Dragon Ball Super - Black Goku :iconbejitsu:Bejitsu 316 23 Painting Foliage by Soroneir Painting Foliage :iconsoroneir:Soroneir 55 5 MediBang Paint Pro Tutorial by DyMaraway MediBang Paint Pro Tutorial :icondymaraway:DyMaraway 950 156 Majin Vegeta by karoine Majin Vegeta :iconkaroine:karoine 140 12 CM TessaiyaSongbird by Fyrae CM TessaiyaSongbird :iconfyrae:Fyrae 259 40 Commission: DragonBall Multiverse - Uub Vs Goku by HomolaGabor Commission: DragonBall Multiverse - Uub Vs Goku :iconhomolagabor:HomolaGabor 239 42 Dragon Ball Z Commission #16 - Trunks Damaged by ghenny Dragon Ball Z Commission #16 - Trunks Damaged :iconghenny:ghenny 76 5 Son Goku by salvamakoto Son Goku :iconsalvamakoto:salvamakoto 516 33 Vegeto SSGSS3 by Maniaxoi Vegeto SSGSS3 :iconmaniaxoi:Maniaxoi 552 141 IKA ssj by salvamakoto IKA ssj :iconsalvamakoto:salvamakoto 512 21 IKA saiyajin girl by salvamakoto IKA saiyajin girl :iconsalvamakoto:salvamakoto 431 44

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September 1, 2016

Thursday

9:09 PM

To: Everyone (World Wide)

From: Daishaun Barnes

Hey Everyone

I've just wanting to let you know that I am sorry for being in your way. This is actually a good thing that no one will ever have to hear from me again.

I don't get what I deserve what I want and all I ever wanted was to become someone special. I've been trying so hard to make improvements of my professional skills by learning more and practicing. But it seems that I've been getting no where. It's like no one isn't around that could help you anymore because I didn't think that I've been wanting to make animations and now it's like it's been forever. I've been too late. Now what can I do. There isn't anyone that's going to help me. It's like my dreams are getting crushed and I don't know what to do now. My brain is dry as a desert and that's why I don't know much. I don't get enough to do things I actually want to do like the rest of the artist that's out there. I get blown away and I just get ignored by most digital artist that's on DeviantArt. I've been wanting to learn from them so I could actually love myself for who I am. Not hate myself because everyone doesn't like me. Like what type of artist would just leave someone hanging is someone would want to learn from you. So what if your not good at teaching or you don't have the ability to teach. You should always help someone. An artist like that is foolish because I'm guessing that artist just want fans to look at their art for attention. And still I didn't get the right type of help I need to get started on what I like.

The real thing that really bothers me to death is that all I ever want is friends and be with people who would really want to hangout with me. I've been trying hard to make friends. I know not everyone is not my friend but it's like no one on Earth really likes me. I don't understand why but I had a rough childhood. I don't have any friends. Every time I put myself out there something always goes horribly wrong and It feels like every time things happens like this it's my fault. It's like you can't even find anyone who has the same interest that you can relate too. I'm more open when it comes to meeting new people and it's just that no one really likes me. That's why I don't want to go to school because it's not just because I just don't want to go there. I just don't want to go because I've been wondering off at some place else being alone where I have no one to talk to. I hate the fact that I have to be crowded and surrounded by people who dislikes me. That's why most of the time I feel like that I'm just not accepted. What triggers me is that I hear from people saying that things will get better but it's not. No matter how terrible life is, it'll stay terrible. Since when people were good? They always treat me like trash.

It makes me feel like that I'm not important to anyone and I'm not. I apologize that I am actually differently but this is all true. Most people think that I do this for attention or whatever. This feeling makes me want to turn my back against humanity because I've been struggling for so long dealing with people and it just would be best if I'd just go anti-social. I'm more like an open book but if it doesn't last long there's no choice but to actually do whatever I normally do at home which is staying in the house all day, do everyday choirs, get less time on playing my video game and on my phone. It hurts me that I have to think about making friends and no one doesn't give a care about you. I think the problem is me obviously. I just don't know why that I'm going through this pain and I've been trying to figure out why.

I hear from everyone that I can not be trust worthy or people calling me names and everything. I do think that all the time which is really disturbing and I find this really, really bad. Do I really need to go through. No one honestly talks me. So this is why I must simply give up on my dreams and everything I love. All I think that maybe the world would be better off without me.

I would want new friends but no one's interested of being my friend. Too bad that I don't have peers. I am very open to what I like doing the best because I love making friends but still no luck. I feel like that I just don't have the courage anymore. I believed that there was going to be a way that someone would really help me get better. How can life gets better and I feel even more worse than before. I can't see myself in the future because without a doubt I'd committed suicide because it's like I don't belong here on Earth. Just being around people is just isn't my thing.

I'm not really worth anything and I still can't find any luck so. I'm never a lucky person. You know about me trying to talk to a psychologist, I've been talking to one at school. When it was almost near at the end of the school year I've been trying to see if she was wanting to call me. But no answer. It's like I know she's there but she had never called me. I've seen her down in the hallway and she just told me to go back upstairs so why do I need a real psychologist if she's been trying to avoid me. I don't think that she was busy. I don't talk to my family about my depression because they barely understand me of what I'm trying to tell them. I have people who would try to send me to a hospital instead of my family because obviously they think that I am crazy and I've went to a hospital and it felted like I didn't get any special help from there. So what's the point of keep sending me to the hospital if I'm still going to be depressed. I'm not really the attention grabber. I just want to talk to someone about my depression. But I can't find anyone that I could relate to. It's like that I'll never have a good connection with a person who would want to help me, or someone who would really want to be in a relationship with me. I have been dating all the time and seem to get a break off of relationships because it's like when you are in a relationship with someone they'll open up too you and start to relate. But every relationship that I'm in it always turn out to be a screw up. Like I always put the blame on me because it's like I've did something wrong that made them feel uncomfortable, annoyed or anything. People don't interact with me but they seem to get along with different people easily and this is why that I always alone.

About my dreams. They are never real and dreams will never turn out to be true. I strongly believe in Destiny thinking inside my head that I could really do this. But it's like I get nightmares very easily. I get scared that bad things I do will turn out badly. My dream is to be with someone who would have the guts and say that "You don't have to go through this anymore". Like I said before. Sense when people were good?

I'm usually at home on my phone everyday. I actually do choirs more then doing things that I've been wanting to do. I don't honestly go outside as much though. On my own time I only get to do is write stories and it's what I like to do best. There isn't anything better to do. Everyone else I know has friends. My life isn't good enough and honestly I'm not happy about that.

I use my positive language. I use my manners and I respect people who are around me but I'm asking for some respect but it's like everyone refuses to show and those people who are around me would start saying things about me and start too pick on me. That's why I disagree that when people say that I'm a special person, and I think that a special person like me shouldn't be going through any of this.  

On Facebook it's just so much drama. I have 3 people say that they're racist against me, not on other blacks. Like seriously you can't be against me just because I'm black and your not against the rest of the black people. When people say things like that it's makes no sense. A lot of people cuts me off or either shuts me down.

No one isn't here for me. No one is and no one can prove it. No one tries to make things up for me when bad things happen. I'm just a person who's always alone. Don't know what's going on most if the time. Don't know what too do. I'm not very proud of myself for who I am. I will never experience what's friendship or true love is really like.

I just want to enjoy what life is really like on the bright side. Sooner or later it's like I won't be able to because this is how I feel now. I just that my life was meant to be thrown away or get used up.

I just want to be like the rest of those people that are out there.
I'm at the end of my rope here.

I don't get to deserve what I deserve. That's where I had a lot of courage because if everyone gets what they want I should be able to have that too so. I am human but I'm somewhat different from the other humans I guess. Why can't I just be like the rest of them.

I'm not going to take this kind of pressure anymore. I won't continue to be nice anymore. That Daishaun is over so don't try helping me.

No one actually cared or apologized for what they've done to me because everyone hates me so badly. They would want to put me down, put me away and push me to the sidelines like I'm nothing. They want me to be forever gotten. Everyone wants me died lying on the floor bloody so badly they make threats about me. Everyone just want to use me and throw me away like I'm trash. Like who would ever want to be my friend. They don't wanna be my friend. No one does.

Well this is no more because I am done and I cannot take it anymore. I tried to be like an open book for everyone but nothing is working. anything. Why does this happens to me.

Love doesn't exist. It's just a stupid fantasy. A game that everyone plays. I'm not playing the love game anymore. No one can prove me wrong because their too scared or they just don't have the proof to show it. So I'm not going to believe in fairytales anymore. No one doesn't really like me anyway so why bother trying to make friends when more and more people just put you down for no reason. I always wonder why I can't seem to move on because I still actually believe that between us we both can make a difference. And no matter what I do I always seem to eager or irritate people to death.

I always been there trying to help people but my help wasn't enough. Like it will be enough to change anything.

I'm just a waste and I don't understand why people would try to avoid that because they know it's the truth.


The whole world is a bad place filled with people that are mischief, douchebagery, trolls, jealously, abusive, aggressive, jerks, racist and someone that's full of hatred that no one doesn't give a living crap about you. That's why I wanna give up on Earth so badly because it feels like I do not want to be here. So I'm not going to do anything to help people anymore. I am done with this sick world being full of trash. No need to tell me that there are good friends that are out there because I will strongly disagree. Giving up is the best option for me. There's no point of struggling anymore. If nothing is working that means I got to give up. This happens to me all the time and I refuse to let it happen again. It's like wasting time trying to figure out what's wrong and you know you won't be able to solve it out and don't blame me that I am this way. Blame those who likes to hurt people or put people down. It's not really my fault you know. Just getting tired of people that's getting on my nerves and it makes me feel like I cannot trust another human being. Again don't blame me. Find the people who done this too me and figure out why because I haven't done anything wrong to them

#fuckhumanity
Hello everyone. My name is Daishaun and I'm having difficulty where I need to start learning more about digital art and such. I'm just having a hard time and I feel like that I don't get enough time to learn what I want. I tried asking digital artist if they could help me get started and I got ignored by them. So I'm just here struggling figuring out what should I do

Pride

I AM PROUD

Made with pride by the DeviantArt community

September 1, 2016

Thursday

9:09 PM

To: Everyone (World Wide)

From: Daishaun Barnes

Hey Everyone

I've just wanting to let you know that I am sorry for being in your way. This is actually a good thing that no one will ever have to hear from me again.

I don't get what I deserve what I want and all I ever wanted was to become someone special. I've been trying so hard to make improvements of my professional skills by learning more and practicing. But it seems that I've been getting no where. It's like no one isn't around that could help you anymore because I didn't think that I've been wanting to make animations and now it's like it's been forever. I've been too late. Now what can I do. There isn't anyone that's going to help me. It's like my dreams are getting crushed and I don't know what to do now. My brain is dry as a desert and that's why I don't know much. I don't get enough to do things I actually want to do like the rest of the artist that's out there. I get blown away and I just get ignored by most digital artist that's on DeviantArt. I've been wanting to learn from them so I could actually love myself for who I am. Not hate myself because everyone doesn't like me. Like what type of artist would just leave someone hanging is someone would want to learn from you. So what if your not good at teaching or you don't have the ability to teach. You should always help someone. An artist like that is foolish because I'm guessing that artist just want fans to look at their art for attention. And still I didn't get the right type of help I need to get started on what I like.

The real thing that really bothers me to death is that all I ever want is friends and be with people who would really want to hangout with me. I've been trying hard to make friends. I know not everyone is not my friend but it's like no one on Earth really likes me. I don't understand why but I had a rough childhood. I don't have any friends. Every time I put myself out there something always goes horribly wrong and It feels like every time things happens like this it's my fault. It's like you can't even find anyone who has the same interest that you can relate too. I'm more open when it comes to meeting new people and it's just that no one really likes me. That's why I don't want to go to school because it's not just because I just don't want to go there. I just don't want to go because I've been wondering off at some place else being alone where I have no one to talk to. I hate the fact that I have to be crowded and surrounded by people who dislikes me. That's why most of the time I feel like that I'm just not accepted. What triggers me is that I hear from people saying that things will get better but it's not. No matter how terrible life is, it'll stay terrible. Since when people were good? They always treat me like trash.

It makes me feel like that I'm not important to anyone and I'm not. I apologize that I am actually differently but this is all true. Most people think that I do this for attention or whatever. This feeling makes me want to turn my back against humanity because I've been struggling for so long dealing with people and it just would be best if I'd just go anti-social. I'm more like an open book but if it doesn't last long there's no choice but to actually do whatever I normally do at home which is staying in the house all day, do everyday choirs, get less time on playing my video game and on my phone. It hurts me that I have to think about making friends and no one doesn't give a care about you. I think the problem is me obviously. I just don't know why that I'm going through this pain and I've been trying to figure out why.

I hear from everyone that I can not be trust worthy or people calling me names and everything. I do think that all the time which is really disturbing and I find this really, really bad. Do I really need to go through. No one honestly talks me. So this is why I must simply give up on my dreams and everything I love. All I think that maybe the world would be better off without me.

I would want new friends but no one's interested of being my friend. Too bad that I don't have peers. I am very open to what I like doing the best because I love making friends but still no luck. I feel like that I just don't have the courage anymore. I believed that there was going to be a way that someone would really help me get better. How can life gets better and I feel even more worse than before. I can't see myself in the future because without a doubt I'd committed suicide because it's like I don't belong here on Earth. Just being around people is just isn't my thing.

I'm not really worth anything and I still can't find any luck so. I'm never a lucky person. You know about me trying to talk to a psychologist, I've been talking to one at school. When it was almost near at the end of the school year I've been trying to see if she was wanting to call me. But no answer. It's like I know she's there but she had never called me. I've seen her down in the hallway and she just told me to go back upstairs so why do I need a real psychologist if she's been trying to avoid me. I don't think that she was busy. I don't talk to my family about my depression because they barely understand me of what I'm trying to tell them. I have people who would try to send me to a hospital instead of my family because obviously they think that I am crazy and I've went to a hospital and it felted like I didn't get any special help from there. So what's the point of keep sending me to the hospital if I'm still going to be depressed. I'm not really the attention grabber. I just want to talk to someone about my depression. But I can't find anyone that I could relate to. It's like that I'll never have a good connection with a person who would want to help me, or someone who would really want to be in a relationship with me. I have been dating all the time and seem to get a break off of relationships because it's like when you are in a relationship with someone they'll open up too you and start to relate. But every relationship that I'm in it always turn out to be a screw up. Like I always put the blame on me because it's like I've did something wrong that made them feel uncomfortable, annoyed or anything. People don't interact with me but they seem to get along with different people easily and this is why that I always alone.

About my dreams. They are never real and dreams will never turn out to be true. I strongly believe in Destiny thinking inside my head that I could really do this. But it's like I get nightmares very easily. I get scared that bad things I do will turn out badly. My dream is to be with someone who would have the guts and say that "You don't have to go through this anymore". Like I said before. Sense when people were good?

I'm usually at home on my phone everyday. I actually do choirs more then doing things that I've been wanting to do. I don't honestly go outside as much though. On my own time I only get to do is write stories and it's what I like to do best. There isn't anything better to do. Everyone else I know has friends. My life isn't good enough and honestly I'm not happy about that.

I use my positive language. I use my manners and I respect people who are around me but I'm asking for some respect but it's like everyone refuses to show and those people who are around me would start saying things about me and start too pick on me. That's why I disagree that when people say that I'm a special person, and I think that a special person like me shouldn't be going through any of this.  

On Facebook it's just so much drama. I have 3 people say that they're racist against me, not on other blacks. Like seriously you can't be against me just because I'm black and your not against the rest of the black people. When people say things like that it's makes no sense. A lot of people cuts me off or either shuts me down.

No one isn't here for me. No one is and no one can prove it. No one tries to make things up for me when bad things happen. I'm just a person who's always alone. Don't know what's going on most if the time. Don't know what too do. I'm not very proud of myself for who I am. I will never experience what's friendship or true love is really like.

I just want to enjoy what life is really like on the bright side. Sooner or later it's like I won't be able to because this is how I feel now. I just that my life was meant to be thrown away or get used up.

I just want to be like the rest of those people that are out there.

deviantID

Barnes-Daishaun15's Profile Picture
Barnes-Daishaun15
Daishaun Barnes
Artist | Student | Other
United States
I am a very nice person, I love to make new friends. I'm still training how to become a better artist by going through steps.
Interests

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:icon705067sc:
705067sc Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2016
hiii you sound so sad on your journalss... i wanted 2 let you know don't give up on drawing... it's a procces and with every drawing you will learn one thing or maybe more... have 2 say when i started 2 draw digitally i found myself with lots of troubles, even now i try 2 improve with each drawing...soo i wish you the best of luck and never give up ...
Reply
:iconpaulicat-24:
PauliCat-24 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2016
Thanks you so much for the watch .n n. I really appreciate itMusic Yyou're very kind Huggle!
Reply
:iconbarnes-daishaun15:
Barnes-Daishaun15 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2016  Student Artist
You are very much welcome, but I have a question. I don't know if you are still doing commissions but it's kinda lame that I don't have a sonic character on my own.
Reply
:iconassassinghostwolf:
AssassinGhostWolf Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
sup dude.
I was informed by an anonymous source that you've been getting antsy about 
learning more about drawing and that you've been struggling to get someone here
on this site to teach you things. Well I respect your and your brothers concern
about your professions, it doesn't mean that you have to ask people for help on it.
It may seem I'm calling you out but trust me; its far from it. Just here me out----

The internet is a bad place filled with mischief, douchebagery, and trolls.
DeviantArt is no exception. The internet is a place for everyone's shadow to be released so
they could roast unfortunate souls. Just look at every youtube hate comment.
Nobody's gonna help you, just because you're some guy on the internet that needs it.
It just doesn't work that way. Unless they have a Youtube channel that
has tutorials and such. And there's only a 500/7 billion chance
someone will spend the time to help you. That's where I come in, partially.

Though I can't help by teaching you, but I can give you a link to a few
Traditional art tutorials to get you started.

--->www.youtube.com/results?search…

If you need some more inspiration, or somewhere to get you started on digital arts, I have a friend 
that did a quick and simple tutorial.

--->www.youtube.com/channel/UClP7S…

Thank you for your time to read this letter and I hope it was helpful to get a
positive affect on you and your brothers skills with the pencil.

                                                                                            ~AssassinGhostWolf
Reply
:iconbarnes-daishaun15:
Barnes-Daishaun15 Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2016  Student Artist
Well how do you know that there going to help me too?
Reply
:iconassassinghostwolf:
AssassinGhostWolf Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Because I watched them myself. Plus they involve pencil and paper drawings known as traditional art.
Reply
:iconxfuyu-me:
xFuyu-me Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hi sweetie. Welcome to DA! I'd really appreciate if you left my dear boyfriend, :iconsaiyan-valor: alone. I myself will teach you how to draw if I have to. But please don't go bugging other artists about it. It'll make you seem desperate. I'm trying to be nice and I hope you know that. Please don't take this the wrong way hun. ❤️
Reply
:iconbarnes-daishaun15:
Barnes-Daishaun15 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2016  Student Artist
I'm sorry. I'm just going through a lot, you can look through my statuses and my journals if you want to.
Reply
:iconxfuyu-me:
xFuyu-me Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have seen them, dear.
Reply
:iconbarnes-daishaun15:
Barnes-Daishaun15 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2016  Student Artist
I've been struggling. And I'm terribly sorry :-(. I didn't mean to get anyone upset. I just need help and I'm not getting anywhere.
Reply
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